71. 7 Secret Strategies to get Business Owners Talking [Used to get clients & solve their problems]

7 Secret Strategies to get Business Owners Talking (Used to get clients & solve their problems) [Everything Business Consulting Episode 71]

A look at our 7 Secret Strategies to get Business Owners Talking, which can be used in business consulting and coaching to get clients & solve their problems.

[Everything Business Consulting Episode 71]

In this episode, we look at:
Purpose of getting business owners to open up
1. Ask broad questions
2. Listen
3. Refrain from judgment or advice
4. Use Minimal Encouragers
5. Be inquisitive
6. Use open body language
7. Use your intuition

If you can get a business owner to tell you what their biggest challenges are, what kind of growth and success they’d like to see in the future… and demonstrate you’re a trustworthy expert … that business owner will be ready to become a client!

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Transcript:

Julius: Welcome to episode 71, which is the Seven Strategies to getting a Business Owner to open up. This episode will give you tangible tips that anyone can use to engage business owners and take the conversation deeper than ever before.

Before we examine these seven strategies, let's start by looking at why this is something important to the success of any business consultant, coach, or advisor, and there are four key purposes for getting a business owner to open up. The first is understanding their business, getting a good grasp of what is happening in their business, and that leads on to the second important aspect. And that is gaining a grasp of their personal and professional challenges and pain points.

The third aspect is to build trust and rapport with this conversation as you're getting them to open up. And the fourth is using your ability to converse, to build authority, and show that you're an expert. If you can do all of these things, ultimately, you're going to set yourself up to acquire clients. This is done by creating a highly compelling proposition for individual business owners where you understand why they're in business, what they need, and the challenges that they're currently having. 

If you can then present yourself as a solution, as the trusted person with expertise, and show that you understand them and can partner with them, while it's really a no-brainer to create a consulting, coaching, and advisory relationship. David, what do you see as the main objective of getting a business owner to open up?

David: Well firstly, you need to establish a point of awareness of what you do and what they do. And you've touched on it a few minutes ago, but you take into consideration any sort of a global or local problem that's going around and we all know what they are. And you probably open up on that. And then you tell them a little bit about your business and then you'd start leading into a discussion about their business. Now there's an old saying that goes something like, if they, if they trust you, and they like you and they believe you then, you've got the right environment to be able to sell things to them.

And that covers everything from selling things, to selling services, to items and widgets and all of those sorts of things. So you just need to initially indicate to them that you're not trying to ram something down their throat and start selling right from the moment, you need to reach that level of trust before you can go onto the next stages of working with them and discovering what their business needs. And then once you know that you'll be able to offer your services. 

Julius: Let's take a look at the first of the seven key strategies of getting a business owner to open up. Number one is to ask broad questions. This as a simple technique, when you're conversing with someone to ask open-ended questions that are going to prompt the conversation, as opposed to a type of question that would just give you a yes or no answer, it's going to drive the discussion and really get the owner to open up or anyone that you're talking to for that matter.

Think of questions that start with W's and the how. The who, the what, why, when, and how, those are the sorts of questions when you start with them, it's going to give you an open-ended answer. Now, the exact question will depend on the situation and how far you are in the progress. Would this business owner or potential client, you might be meeting for the first time, or you might be meeting them for the second or third time, and you're really working to try and discover the challenges within the business, but this strategy remains the same. Get them talking and opening up. David, what's your personal go-to for getting business owners that you're just engaging with for the first time, what do you use to get them to open?

David: Well, it's very simple and it is how is your business going? And from that question, don't talk and just let them continue talking because most people open up straight away. 

Julius: And when you're a little bit further along the process, perhaps you're in a first discovery meeting and you're finding out a little bit about their business. You ask deeper questions, you know, ones like how do you measure what's going on in your business? Are you achieving the goals you've set yourself? What causes you stress and keeps you awake at night? These are those questions that start with that who, what, why, when, and how, these broad questions that you use to spark conversation and give you an idea of where you can take the conversation deeper. 

And that takes us on to our second very important aspect, our second strategy of getting business owners to open up, and that is to listen. The simple act of listening is one of the most powerful tools in the arsenal of a successful business consultant. If you've just asked a wide-ranging question that's going to prompt discussion, then you should be listening very, very intently. Because they're gonna say things and give you answers and reactions that are going to prompt the next question you want to ask just to go a little bit deeper and keep the conversation flowing. So you should listen with the sole intent to understand, and that will help you in a number of ways. David, how does listening help us? 

David: Well, there's a biblical saying somewhere. I don't know where it is, but it said, God gave you two ears so you can listen twice as much as you can talk. Well, I think it's actually probably 90, 10, 90% listening, and 10% talking because that's the only way you're going to learn about the business. And there's another famous person, well, not as famous as God or Jesus, Ernest Hemingway. And he said, I like to listen and I've learned a great deal from listening carefully. And he says that most people when they're in conversation, never listen. So it's really important. And it'll give the speaker the spotlight and it will make them feel like you're listening to them and that they feel appreciated, and they're going to feel positive about you.

 Now that's that building trust and rapport mechanism that basically, it's almost inverse. The less you try and sell something to them, the more they will trust you. There's plenty of time for selling later on, but you got to get that trust first and you need to hear and process exactly what they're being, what they're saying because there'll be little clues in there. Little non-verbal clues. All sorts of things in there, and it's kind of a body language thing as well because you'll find there's all sorts of things in there. So if you're doing 90% listening and just putting questions to them, then they will tell you what they want to buy. That's another sale saying.

I don't see this is what we do as selling, I see it as influencing them, influencing them to work with us. So, yes, so they will tell you what they want to buy. The whole thing is in there. And you're sitting there, talking 10% and writing notes and recording the notes and everything. And then those notes, which is what they say is what they believe. And you'll be able to use that later on. 

Julius: Moving on to the third technique, that is to refrain from judgment or giving advice. When you're getting a business owner to open up, offering judgment or giving advice, isn't really going to help. You want to create a situation where the business owner is comfortable to share their thoughts and experiences with you. Your entire being your questions, your tone of voice, your facial expressions, your body language should all be relaxed and completely nonjudgmental. Now, this is going to put the business owner in a similar situation where they're relaxed, they're in a situation where they feel like they can open up to you.

They're not going to be afraid you're going to judge them, and they're going to have confidence as a result. And they're going to talk with you and give you honesty, which is what you need to have a good and meaningful conversation. The second part of this, when getting a business owner to open up is it's not time to give advice.

David: Free advice is not valued by them because you haven't built enough credibility yet, and you haven't research and understood enough about their business to be able to do that. So, you need to continue on with your question asking of them, and the 90%:10%, if you can achieve that. And because you mustn't go into giving advice or giving comment because it stops the business owner from talking and they don't value what you say really at this stage anyway.

So you likely, don't know the total picture, so you won't be able to give the best advice until you've done all this research. It's like going to the doctor, think about going to the doctor and you go there and you say, I've got a pain in my stomach, and it's really intense and it's here and everything else. What is he going to do? He's going to send you for blood tests. That's tests, so he's getting more information. He's collating more information about you and you would probably go for an ultrasound or scan or something rather. So, yeah, so leave all the advice and give it to them later.

So, cause you don't want to get into a situation where the business owner could disagree or feel threatened by advice in these early stages, which could jeopardize the relationship. You just need to position yourself as being the expert in all things business and leave all of your advisory work until later on. And of course, they don't value free and unsolicited advice. What, if you do do that, you're going to go off on a tangent, to where you want to be. And you're going to get involved in discussions that you don't want to have in this situation. 

Julius: Absolutely right, David. If you're talking and giving advice, you're not listening. And you want that business owner to have a sense of comfort in an environment where they're not going to be judged or force-fed advice. You have a far better chance of getting them to open up if you're just sitting there and listening and not doing those things. The fourth method we can use to get business owners to open up is to use minimal encourages. By using questions, you're encouraging this lead, this business owner, this person within the business that you're working with, you're building rapport and establishing their needs. As we've talked about, you're going to be directing conversation, and you're also going to have the ability to sense if there's any tension or if there's any pain points.

And you're going to use those mechanisms to invite discussion. Now, this use of minimal encourages is going to deepen the quality and the detail of an answer. They're really simple words and phrases that allow you to guide your prospect into more detail. These are really simple phrases, such as using the word meaning. So in a discussion, someone David might be telling you, my business is going really well. And then you would say, Meaning, and you're prompting them to go deeper and tell you what you actually mean by that. Another example is such as, so you could say I've got some really good sales techniques in my business.

Such as get them to elaborate a bit. So it's taking that discussion deeper. It might be more like, I've got some really big challenges going on and so-and-so in the office is really difficult to manage. Tell me more about that. It's really simple. I see. Right. Yep. Yes. Ah, go on. These are really simple little words that can prompt the discussion and extend out the answers. So you're really drilling down on the pain points. What's going well in a business, what's not going well, and where the business owner wants to go in the future. I'm just going to repeat some of them, meaning, such as, tell me more about that, I see, right, yes, ah, go on, tell me more. Have you got any other ones, David? 

David: The one that I like using, which is a favorite one for psychologists and psychiatrists, is the leaning forward at a certain point and saying, and how does that make you feel? And then zip up, don't say anything because what you're doing is you're examining the effect, that particular challenge that they have, the effect that's having on them personally. And that's a very, very good one because you can probe all around it. How does that make you feel? What impact is that having on your personal life? Is this problem overflowing into your family life?

These are all extensions from there and can, cause what you're trying to do is you're trying to take something that's mechanical. Like a business, like money, and you're trying to turn it into something that's personal. And that's where the biggest negative effect comes from. From most business owners, majority of business owners that we talk to is the effect that it's having on their personal life.

Julius: These minimal encourages are really simple way of getting deeper conversations with the business owner, giving you a better connection. And of course, a more thorough understanding. The fifth technique we're going to use is to be inquisitive. Now being inquisitive and chatty often produce golden results. David, I can think of many instances when you've just sparked a conversation with business owners and found out much more than you ever wanted to. Can you tell us about one of those times? 

David: Oh, well, as you said, much more than that you ever wanted to, I have found that by using these techniques, these questions and answering techniques that we're talking about, not so much answering. But what it does is, most people and by the word most, I mean over 75%, open up like a flower in the springtime, and they'll tell you absolutely everything.

And this is good. This is really good. And because being a consultant or an advisor, coach, et cetera, you end up wearing seven hats and one of those hats, or two of them as a psychiatrist and a psychologist and a coach and all the others and a mentor and a confidante. In other words, they'll tell you things that are private and confidential.

So yes, so, so there's so much comes out of this. If you handle it the right way, like they don't want, not so much they don't want, they are not aware of these techniques that we're talking about. So, so you'll have them. If the longer the meeting can go, the better it is going to be, they're going to talk about all sorts of things and you're just taking notes down and remember you're watching body language.

You're listening to things they say, you're watching how they're sitting there, whether they're comfortable, whether they're fidgeting, whether they're agitated about something, all these sorts of things. And be very attentive when you're talking to them, take notice of what they're saying and write them down because if they say it, they believe it. And that's where you might, you will most differently come back and you'll use those things that they said. And you'll remind them of that. 

Julius: So I've said this before David, and I'm going to say it again because I think it's very important. That businesses are usually a personal pride and joy, a labor of love, and something that people are really proud of, no matter how well or how poorly it's going, they've poured their heart and soul into it normally. So what they want to do really is they want to talk about it and tell you about it in the same way that a parent wants to tell you about how amazing and unique and special their child is. So if you can make them feel relaxed and spark the conversation, it actually flows very, very naturally. And an example of being inquisitive as a conversation starter, you can observe something that is going on in a place of business and make that a conversational point or something that you can just mention to spur the conversation along. 

Now, I can think of a time when I was talking to a business owner, trying to book a discovery meeting, and I was in a pretty sticky situation. I was met with a lot of resistance from this particular lead who clearly didn't want to know about what I was doing there, and he was actually getting a little bit worked up. I looked around his office, his waiting room, and I saw a travel magazine on his desk with a photo of Rarotonga or a one-page spread of Rarotonga open. And that's a small tropical island in the South Pacific for those of you in the Southern hemisphere, may not know it.

And I quickly asked him, are you going to Rarotonga? And that became the catalyst that sparked a really in-depth conversation that lasted almost an hour. And we did talk about Rarotonga for a little bit, but it went in all different directions. And I eventually found out that this business owner had had a gut full of the business he was working in and it was in the process of being sold. So for that particular business owner, I was just a little bit too late, but I did manage to find a way to spark the conversation and then find out more about his business once the conversation was flowing. 

Now, what's more, but the final thing that I found out is that this business owner was actually, once his house had sold and his business sale had gone through, he was going to buy a small boutique hotel on Rarotonga, on the island. So this was a common interest because I've been there and he knew exactly, he'd been there many times as he was going to buy this little hotel. So the entire persona of the business owner changed from when he was really standoffish at the start, to once I'd got him to relax and use the techniques of just listening to him and talking about something he wanted to talk about first, then he was, the situation was diffused. He was telling me about himself and his business. And then he even went on to talk about other business owners that he knew in the area that wish that they could sell up their business, and move to Rarotonga as well. 

And I thought that was a perfect opportunity, I didn't at that stage, but if I went back, I would have asked for referrals or just for their names or to point me in the direction because they're the types of people that would make great prospects and consultants. Sorry, great prospects and clients, because they obviously feel stuck in their business. You never know where a discussion is going to take you, so being inquisitive can help you to get on with the prospect, can prompt discussion, and help you find out valuable information about the business. 

The sixth technique we're going to discuss is to use open body language now, body language and non-verbal cues are a very important way to communicate without words. So you can show emotion, you can show understanding, you can build rapport whilst listening, you don't even have to stop the business owner from talking, but you can show that you're understanding them. You can show that you're hearing them and you can make them feel comfortable while they're talking without actually putting a halt on the conversation. David, can you tell us a little bit about these techniques? 

David: Yes, there's a few of them here, but we'll go through them, focus directly on the person that you are talking to and practice the technique of emptying your mind. You might be sitting there talking to them and thinking about you need to go and pick up that spare tire from the tire guy on the way home or something like that. Don't, practice to give them 100% of your focus. Be directly looking at them, and use your head, your eyebrows, tilt your head, nod encouragingly three times.

Yeah, it sounds weird, aye? But it's, just practice doing it, open your body up. So I've just got my hands in my lap now, basically. And that will reveal a lot about your attitudes, your emotions, and your motives by the way you hold your body, especially if you're using a closed or open posture, open your arms, sit upright. Widen shoulders, directed at the speaker and have your palms up, as opposed to I just have palms down, Julius. So I put them up now and he can probably see the difference in my smile. Show you're open, relaxed, and have a strong willingness to listen and interact. And these nonverbal clues will often give the business owner a subconscious feeling that they can be confident and open because of your posture.

And that of course builds trust, and activate your smile power. That's really important as well. Smile at the appropriate place, obviously. And it stimulates your own sense of being, what do they say? 65 muscles for a smile and 10 for a frown or something or rather. So a genuine smile, it crinkles your eyes, lights up the face, and just let it fade away slowly. So smiling directly will influence most people to respond to you, they'll smile back. And they won't even be aware that they're doing it. And they nearly always smile in return. And because facial expressions trigger, corresponding feelings a smile you get back, actually changes the person's emotional state in a positive way.

Imagine if they're really down in the dumps, really down in the dumps and they're scared, worried, stressed, all of those things. And you come in like a doctor and you're smiling and you're showing them that it's not as bad as what it may seem. Also, I've just been thinking while I've been talking here about one of the things that helps people to open up is when they talk about their family, as Julius mentioned earlier. And it's always good to know whether they're married, whether they've got kids, what sports that the kids do because I bet you, you can find some common interest in there. Oh, your son plays soccer. What clubs does he play for?

Oh, Penrith? Oh, my son plays for Paramata or whatever. And you can get into a discussion like that. And gosh, you know, like if you're in a local area, you may even find that they go to the same school or they're in the same sports club. So yeah, very, very important. And, you'll find that you're establishing a bond, cause remember what we said all along here is that you need to build that trust and you don't want to, where you shouldn't, ram selling your services to him, down their throat. You should just stay away from that because if you follow this process correctly, what you'll get is a situation where they will come to you. From a desire and a need to work with you, so you want to encourage them by doing that, and they will.

Another thing, throughout the conversation at the appropriate times, is to lean in, and look them in the eye and talk to them. I know that's another one of those things that feels a bit weird, but it shows that you're interested, it shows that you want to make contact with them, and yeah, all those sorts of things, rather than looking around, looking out the window, or other things. Also to make sure your phone's turned off like ours, and the red thing on the end is turned off. That's important, cause you don't want a break your train of thought. This is a, quite a few things you got to go through here. 

Julius: That's an interesting point you made David about smiling and using that as a technique to show them that it's perhaps not as bad or there's light at the end of the tunnel if they're in a negative situation. And you also use the example of a doctor, and I can't imagine, I can't think of a time when a doctors ever sat down and smiled at me and said, it's going to be all right. You know, we can get through this and given me those feelings, just by conversing with me. So if you could do that to a business owner, well, I imagine that it's going to be very, very powerful. 

David: What about that saying, a problem shared is a problem halved. Think about that with a doctor, think about that with a business owner. And that's what actually happens, with the business owner, he doesn't tell his wife what's going on, he doesn't tell his lawyer, his accountant, his brother, friends, colleagues, all those sorts of people, he holds it inside because as you said earlier on like his businesses is almost like a child. 

It's his pride and joy and he doesn't talk to anybody else because he's afraid that he's going to be judged. As we mentioned earlier, and all of a sudden he's talking to you and you're listening, listening, listening, as we said, a problem shared is a problem halved. 

Julius: The seventh and final technique we're going to discuss today is to use your intuition to trust your gut. Now you're being in these conversations with business owners and potential leads, prospects, whatever you want to call them, you need to be paying full attention. And if your gut is telling you something about someone, if you think that they're disguising the truth, not telling you the full picture, well then you're probably right. And that's time for you to address it. 

You should address that with compassion and understanding and your full attention and come at them from a place of hope. If your gut is telling you that a business owner is struggling in a particular area well then you should trust that, follow that path and gently prompt the owner to give you more information. David, can you think of a time when, or an example when you've used your intuition whilst discussing with a lead or a prospect or any business owner?

David: Well you can see what's going on, like use your trust or your gut, you may have got a referral. This person you're talking to, maybe a referral from one of your clients or somebody else that you've met. And he says, you need to go and talk to John because he's having a lot of problems down there and he needs help from a person like you. Well, when you're talking to him, by using your gut, you'll be able to ascertain these things. You'll be able to see what stress he's under, how many company cars are outside the business parking, how much stock they've got. All of these things will tell you, a picture's worth a thousand words.

So you'll be able to prompt the owner, once you've picked up the signs from your gut, you'll be able to prompt them and steer them down a path to be able to give you more information and more of their challenges. 

Julius: I can think of an example recently from our ConsultX network, where we had one of our consultants attempting to book a discovery meeting, he just met a business owner and this business owner had a great, big facility. I'm not sure what it was, I think it was manufacturing of some kind. This great, big building and it was almost empty. There were a few boxes in the corner and then he went into the offices and there was an office space that was big enough for 10 or 15 people. And there was basically just the owner in there a single desk.

And it was a great, open, and sparse space. And our consultant said, said something to the effect of, you know, do you need some help? You know, you look like you've got this great big facility and what's going on. And he said, no, no, I'm perfectly fine, in a really abrupt and defensive manner. And Jim, our consultant he used his gut and he could clearly tell that, that there's something wasn't right in this business and obviously something wasn't going according to plan. So he used that to prompt the discussion, he thought, no, this is going to be a lose, lose situation if I exit the conversation. 

Now my gut is telling me this business and this business owner aren't where they should be, they need help. So he didn't take that as an indication that first no, that the conversation should stop. He used his gut and thought he's using the word no, but his body language and the situation that this business is in, is screaming out for help. So trust your gut and use that to your advantage. 

In summary of these seven techniques, to really get a business owner, to open up and share with you their problems and their desires. Number one, you should ask broad questions, those questions, the who, the what, the how, the when, and the why so you get a nice long answer. The second technique is to listen, listen with two ears and one mouth. Three refrain from judgment or advice. Four, use those minimal encourages, those little prompts for guiding the conversation and going a little bit deeper. Tell me more about that? How does that make you feel? I see. Go on.

 The fifth technique, be inquisitive, be chatty. Look for things to talk about and create conversation. Six, use open body language. Put this potential lead at ease by showing that you're relaxed and then get them to open up more and build rapport by holding yourself and acknowledging them with your body and your head. And the seventh method is to use your intuition and trust your gut. If you'd like to get business owners to tell you what their biggest challenges are, what kind of growth and success they'd like to see in the future, all you need to do is demonstrate that you're a trustworthy expert and business owners will be ready to become clients.

For all show notes on this episode, visit consultx.com/episode/71. Please leave a review on your favorite listening platform, it really helps us to reach more people. And finally, don't forget, you can reach out to us and request a topic or have your business consulting questions answered.

David: Thanks everybody, you've been listening to Everything Business Consulting with David Thexton and Julius Bloem.